When I was twenty, I liked a guy who posted really sad lyrics in his Internet profiles.
I drove all my friends crazy wondering if the sad lyrics were about me.
They weren’t. They were about his ex-girlfriend, and once that was established, I started wondering why he thought she was cooler than I was. I spent an inordinate amount of time pondering this question.
For a while there, it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep at night. You could call it my primary question.
I want you to consider what you primary question is. What is it that you spend most of your time thinking?
Here are the primary questions that some of my friends have been asking themselves lately:
- Why am I not seeing anyone? It’s been years.
- Why didn’t he text me after our second date? What did I do wrong?
- Why don’t I have any job offers yet?
- How will I possibly survive grad school?
- Why won’t Kevin date me?
- Why am I such a failure?
What about you? What’s your question, and is it a good use of your time? Does it make you happy, or propel you toward some amazing future?
OR, is it just making you sad, perpetuating some bad situation, and keeping you stuck somewhere you don’t want to be?
Once you figure out what your primary question is (and chances are, you’ll know it immediately), you don’t even have to change it. Just think about whether it’s what you would consciously choose to spend your time thinking about, if you had the choice. (You do.)
And if you find that your primary question maybe isn’t serving you, then here are some suggested replacements:
- What’s exciting right now?
- What do I want to create today?
- What can I do to be happier in this moment?
Food for thought.